Just a Minor Firmware Upgrade
by Bill Kowaleski
Part 1 appears in this issue.
conclusion
Two days later, laden with a heavy suitcase — I never travel light — and my computer backpack, I pushed the sub-basement button on the elevator of the Sirians’ training facility, disguised as the IT center of a commodities exchange. I’d tried that button many times before without success, but this time it illuminated. Working with the Sirians, one became accustomed to the unexplained.
A Sirian attendant quickly and efficiently guided me through a low opening framed in a gray plastic-like substance unlike anything I’d ever seen. Ten steps later, I emerged into a small room, not much more than a brightly lit closet, and then, suddenly a familiar face appeared: Inkohatum in his male skin.
“My friend! How pleased I am to see you!” He grabbed my hand and dragged me through the door, then into a long hallway, pulling me along at a trot toward an open door some hundred feet ahead.
My suitcase and backpack were like lead weights as I tried to keep up. I was exhausted when I finally plopped down in a comfortable armchair beside a fine, richly lacquered oak table.
Inkohatum sprang like a small dog into the chair opposite me. “I have so missed you, my friend!” There was a sincerity to his voice and his face that convinced me that he meant it.
“I’m happy to see you too,” I responded. “Are you finding enough, shall I say, diversions, here in the Sinai desert?”
“I must confess this has been a problem, so I go to Amsterdam where we have a transport center and enjoy some very debauched weekends.”
This sounded more than plausible. But I didn’t want to hear the details, which he would have been happy to supply at length. I was, in fact, tremendously curious about his work, and so asked him to jump right into explaining it to me.
“We are manufacturing viruses and delivery mechanisms,” he said. But the grin on his face said, Ask me what we’re delivering and why. So I did.
“Remember my assertion that it was our responsibility to fix the mistakes we made when we created you?
“Of course. So what are you doing, creating a new species?”
“Oh, it’s not a new species, it’s just a fix, sort of like a firmware upgrade.”
It was as I’d feared. I did little more than squeak, so shocked was I, but he continued as though he hadn’t noticed my concern.
“We alter certain genes that control specific brain areas and voilà, no more superstition, no more irrational fear, no more innate stupidity. There’s more, but you get the picture.”
His face said, Praise me! Look at what I’ve done! Isn’t it wonderful?
“Uh, my friend, you wouldn’t be conducting tests on living human beings, would you?”
He smiled and shook his head. “Oh, no, not tests. We’ve modified some humans, yes, but those aren’t tests. The tests are performed in computer models. We work out all the problems there, and by the time we infect the subjects, everything works perfectly.”
“Perfectly?”
For the first time I saw the slightest concern in his face.
“Oh, they’re healthy, and they’re rational, sensible creatures just as I designed them, but there is one unforeseen problem. You see, the model didn’t include what would happen when they returned to society. When they went back to their homes, they found their friends and relatives to be insufferable bigots and fools. We’ve had to move every one of them into temporary housing; they were in grave danger in their native environments.”
“You’ve ruined those people’s lives! You should have talked this over with me. I could have told you this would happen!”
He sighed and said, “Yes, I should have. But here’s the funny thing. We’ve offered to change them back, but none of them want that. They like themselves the way they are now. It’s everybody else that’s the problem.”
“So, how is this ever going to work?” I asked. “You take away a person’s hatred and he becomes an outcast.”
“Yes, there’s a transition problem we hadn’t anticipated. So, the solution is to narrow the transition time to the smallest possible. We’ll have to spread the virus very quickly in areas of conflict like Israel and Palestine, for example.”
“You’re going to disrupt the entire world, Inkohatum. Does your uncle know about this?”
The door to the conference room opened, and an undisguised Sirian walked in. “Hello, Uncle!” said Inkohatum.
“You’ve told him everything?” asked Learned Nefer.
“Not the dispersal plan. Everything else.”
Learned Nefer turned his coal-black eyes toward me. “Nephew has persuaded me that it is our duty to correct the mistakes we made when we created your species. Your governments would of course refuse if we asked permission to do this. So we will not ask.”
I nodded, thinking furiously. I had to get back, warn the people on the U.N. Secret Commission for Sirian Affairs. There could be worldwide violence and confusion if the Sirians did this, and what if the virus caused unforeseen complications, or mutated?
“I think you’re making a mistake,” I said. “There are over seven billion people in the world now. It’s nothing like it was when you first engineered us. And what gives you the right...”
“We are your creators,” said Learned Nefer. “And that gives us the right to do whatever we wish to you.”
He spoke in a commanding voice, one that said I will be obeyed.
I turned to Inkohatum. “I thought you were my friend. Why would you take such an incredible risk with the entire human species?”
“Gerry, I am your friend. That’s why I’m doing this. I care about humans, especially you. I want your world to be a better place. This is the way to make that happen. You’re exhibiting the design flaw right now. You’re feeling the irrational fear, the inability to accept the voice of reason. Soon you’ll be past that. You should be rejoicing! Sure, there may be some losses during the transition, but they’ll be far fewer than the many deaths that would result from our leaving you all as you are.”
“I see.” I stood and took a step toward the hallway. “Maybe I should just go home, relax, try to get used to this idea. I think I’ll head back then. Good to see you, Inko...”
“Nice try,” said Learned Nefer. “But no one who has knowledge of this plan can leave this facility. We can’t risk your communicating with the Secret Commission.”
* * *
They gave me a wonderful apartment, quiet, luxurious, with a great view of the Red Sea. Inkohatum hovered over me like a highschool boy courting a cheerleader, taking me to dinner in the compound’s opulent executive dining room, stopping by several times a day, trying to convince me that all would come out well. But at the same time, I was cut off from everyone I knew, and my internet access was severely censored, so I had no way of knowing how the dispersal of the virus was proceeding.
One evening, as Inkohatum, wearing his male skin, sat in my living room, taking in the sunset over the Red Sea, I said, “It’s crazy. You have total control over me. You could kill me in an instant if you wanted to or do whatever else you wanted to me. Yet you keep trying to win me over. Why am I so important, Inkohatum? Why are you spending so much time with me?”
“There are two reasons, Gerry. Both are rather embarrassing. I hope you’ll be kind when I tell you these things.”
Inkohatum’s artificial face glowed. With his famous impish grin he said, “You see, I’m in love with you. I have been for a very long time.”
I felt my face flush. I wasn’t sure whether I was more shocked or embarrassed. “Come on, Inkohatum, stop messing with me.”
“No, it’s true. Remember, we designed your species to be sexually attractive for us. We all crave a human sex partner, and we’re sentimental, deeply emotional creatures. It’s really nothing surprising if you give it even a moment’s thought.”
“You know very well that—”
“Of course, and it hurts me so much to know that you’ll never care for me like I care for you.”
He turned his head to the windows and spoke softly, as if to himself. “Of course, I could force myself on you, and I could make it so you’d like it. Like it a lot.”
Now I felt a wave of cold fear. “Please, Inkohatum, don’t do that, I beg of you.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t want you to hate me. But now you know why I spend so much time with you. It’s because I love to be with you.”
He paused, then stood and paced the length of the windows overlooking the sea. As he walked, he said, “The second reason is that when I first took your hand, those first moments when you arrived here, I infected you. I’m watching you closely, observing how you change.”
I should have been outraged, but I felt strangely neutral. Of course it made sense to observe the changes Inkohatum had designed in someone he already knew well, someone whose baseline behavior was well-defined. Then I realized my lack of outrage must be the direct result of the infection. I was already changing.
The look on Inkohatum’s face told me I was right. “I see it in your face, Gerry. You’ve realized that the change is happening. You’re losing your irrational fears.”
“Yes, I just can’t work up any outrage about what you’ve done.”
“And outrage is such a motivator,” said Inkohatum. “It is among the most irrational of human emotions and has led to so many terrible things.”
His confessions had created an opening for me. I decided to take advantage of it. “I’d really like to get back home. Not only am I bored here, but I did have a life, you know. I’ve missed two visits with my children already. My ex has probably gone to court to take away my visiting privileges by now.”
Inkohatum sat silently for a moment, then said, “I haven’t observed you all the way to the end. I can’t let you go for another ten days. Hold on until then, Gerry. When you do return, you’ll see for yourself the changes we’ve made in the world. It’s already a different place.”
* * *
The ten days dragged, but at least I had something to look forward to. Finally, my day of freedom, as I’d come to regard it, arrived. As I stood in the teleport facility, Inkohatum, in the male skin he always felt most comfortable wearing, held onto my hand as though he wasn’t ready to let me leave.
“I’ll miss you,” he said. “But I suppose it’s for the best this way. Soon you’ll understand.”
I felt a strange twinge of sadness about leaving him myself, but my eagerness to return home overwhelmed it. I pulled my hand free, patted him on the shoulder, and walked through the teleporter.
Chicago certainly looked the same. As soon as I got home, I went to my computer and began accessing news sites. My Sirian friend was right — the world had changed — a lot. Israel and the Palestinian areas had merged into a single country. Every nation on Earth had renounced nuclear weapons. Peace treaties had been signed all over Africa. The stock market was soaring. It looked like the Sirian plan was working out quite well.
It took a while to convince my ex that I’d been on a secret mission related to my work, but she finally agreed to let me see my daughters. They lived a short walk away, and were just home from school. I couldn’t wait to see them again.
Shawna opened the door to her apartment and stared at me. “Who are you?” she asked, her brow furrowed with suspicion.
I laughed. “Yeah, it’s been a long time hasn’t it...”
“Look, I recognize the voice, but I seriously do not recognize you,” she said. It didn’t sound like she was joking.
Leila, my fifteen-year old, appeared behind her. “Hi, honey!” I said. “How’s school?”
“Uh, like, who’s the weirdo?” she said, her voice also filled with suspicion.
I pulled out my wallet, showed them my driver’s license. That finally convinced them to let me in, but the tension was thick. Shawna said, “You really don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
“Go into the bathroom and look in the mirror.”
I suppose that when I’m near death. I’ll review my life and think about the moments I was most proud of, most embarrassed about, most wished I could relive. But that moment, I’m quite sure, will be the one when I was most shocked. What I saw was a face only faintly like the one I remembered as mine. The eyes were bigger, the nose smaller. Everything had elongated. And it wasn’t just my face. I took a closer look at my fingers. They seemed unnaturally long. It doesn’t take many changes to completely throw off our facial recognition capabilities, and the changes in me were just enough to do that.
I’d wondered about why my little apartment in the Sinai had completely lacked mirrors. Inkohatum had explained that it was a simple oversight and that I didn’t really need a mirror to shave anyway. Now I understood. This change had to be why.
Shawna had been watching me from behind. She’d seen my shock, and her voice was now much more sympathetic. “What happened, Gerry? What did they do to you?”
“I was the subject — no, the victim — of an experiment I never agreed to. They infected me with a virus that changed my genetic makeup.”
She gasped. “Could we catch it from you?”
“It doesn’t matter. They’ve dispersed it all over the world. You may well have it already!”
* * *
I wanted to spend some time with my daughters, but I had to get back there, tell Inkohatum to stop. Shawna and the girls understood. It took a short while to get approval to use the teleporter and, within the hour, I was facing Inkohatum, still in his male skin, and Learned Nefer, undisguised.
I spoke calmly, repressing my anger. “Apparently your computer models didn’t account for physical changes. Even our primitive science knows that physical and behavioral traits can be genetically linked. How could you make such a mistake?”
Learned Nefer’s large, piercing black eyes seemed to get even bigger. “How dare you insult us with such a nonsensical statement!”
Inkohatum took my hand. There was a sadness in his artificial eyes, but a glow too. “Gerry, of course we know about linked traits like that. I just thought that as long as we were making changes, I’d throw in a few, made specially for you, so that you and I could get along better.”
“You changed my looks on purpose?”
“Not just your looks. Give me a minute.”
He disappeared out the door. Learned Nefer said, “This is when I leave you. It is the culmination of Nephew’s experiment. I will return shortly to observe the results.”
I stood in the small conference room alone for two or three minutes and then an undisguised Sirian walked in. “Gerry, take a good look at me. What do you think?”
It was as though I had new eyes. The tiny nose, the greenish skin, the thin limbs, they all seemed alluring and impossibly beautiful now. And then I looked into his — or was it her? — deeply black eyes. Never had I felt such a connection to another living being. My knees went weak, my breath came in gulps. I felt as if I were in a trance.
“You see, Gerry, we’re going to be very special friends now. Isn’t it exciting?”
A war broke out inside me. On one side, I felt an almost irresistible desire to drag Inkohatum to the nearest bed. But on the other side, revulsion and outrage welled up, freezing me. He opened his arms, beckoning me to embrace him, but instead I fell to the floor, curled up in a fetal position, and broke into uncontrollable sobs.
He stood a minute above me frozen, perhaps confused, then fell to his knees beside me, put an arm around me, and said, “Oh, my poor friend! What have I done? I only wanted you to love me.”
The door opened. Learned Nefer took a step into the room, stared at the two of us on the floor for a moment, then said, “You fool! I warned you that your model might not be accurate, that re-engineering their deepest emotions was risky! This human is among the most prominent physicists on Earth and far too valuable to our program to be lost to your frivolous infatuations. Change him back at once!”
* * *
Changing me back wasn’t quite as easy as Learned Nefer made it sound but, three months later, I looked and felt like my old self again. It took a lot longer than that for me to get over my anger at Inkohatum, but now, almost two years on, he’s won me over, and we’re friends again. I have to admit, he did a lot of things right. The world really is a much safer, more pleasant place now.
I never have really understood Inkohatum. Why wouldn’t he prefer a romantic relationship with one of his own kind? Why did he feel such a deep need to re-engineer us humans? Why would he fall in love with me, of all people? Contemplating those questions, I’m beginning to understand my religious friends better. The gods really do work in mysterious ways.
Copyright © 2023 by Bill Kowaleski
