The Deep-Frozen Spark of Life

by Bertil Falk

part 3 of 4

CUT TO

INT BENSEN’S OFFICE.

Anthony Bensen in a chair. Cathleen Brand dabs his sores.

Cathleen Brand: So they let you go.

Anthony Bensen: Yes.

Cathleen Brand: You blew it.

Anthony Bensen: I’m afraid I did.

Cathleen Brand: I think you’re back to square one — for good.

Anthony Bensen: That’s what you think.

Cathleen Brand: You said that this Robeson destroyed your sperm.

Anthony Brand: I need access to a computer guy, one of these whiz kids you read about, a hacker who spends his days reading secret Pentagon documents and the private love letters the President sends to the ladies, he’s not married to, if you see what I mean.

Cathleen Brand: A whiz kid. The only one I can think of is Jim.

Anthony Bensen: Who is Jim? Someone I know?

Cathleen Brand: You’ve seen him.

Anthony Bensen: And he’s good at computers?

Cathleen Brand: Jim is a real hacker.

Anthony Bensen: And I know him?

Cathleen Brand: He’s been here visiting me now and then. Jim is my brother’s son.

Anthony Bensen: Oh, you mean that brat. He’s a computer freak?

Cathleen Brand: He’s not a brat and he’s not a freak. He’s a nice and clever young man, sixteen years old. He’s tough, a little bit precocious, but he’s also affectionate and devoted. You always look at people out of your limited perspective. You see the outward appearance, but you have an emphatic tendency to miss the individual qualities of your fellowmen. Jim is neither a brat nor a freak.

Anthony Bensen: Another one of your famous lectures. What makes you think he’s so good?

Cathleen Brand: He solves all possible computer problems. And other problems as well, for that matter.

Anthony Bensen: Well, why not? Maybe I should try him?

Cathleen Brand: To do what?

Anthony Bensen: To get me an heir of my own flesh and blood.

Cathleen Brand: I don’t get it.

Anthony Bensen: Don’t worry about that. Bring him with you tomorrow.

Cathleen Brand: It’s Friday today. I’m afraid you have to wait till Monday. I’ll ask him.

CUT TO

INT DINING ROOM

Cathleen Brand, Jim Brand and Ursula Brand dining.

Jim Brand: Great to have you here, Cathleen.

Cathleen Brand: And it’s good to be here with you two. It must have been four weeks since the last time.

Jim Brand: You came more often when dad was alive.

Cathleen Brand: Did I hear a touch of reproach in that statement.

Ursula Brand: Jim worships you and he’s right. You were here more often before. Who can blame you? Stan’s death was a shock to all of us.

Jim Brand: You should come more often.

Cathleen Brand: You know I’ve tried hard to get time to visit you ever since Stan died. But my job takes more and more time. It has become very time-consuming. And Anthony Bensen is not his normal self for the time being.

Jim Brand: Why don’t you tell that slave driver that enough is enough.

Ursula Brand: And I miss our Mah-jong evenings.

Jim Brand: So do I.

Cathleen Brand: Me too. But who can replace Stan at the table? We must be four to play Mah-jong.

Jim Brand: Anyhow, you should tell your slave driver that you’re sick and tired of working weekends.

Cathleen Brand: Jim, I like my job.

Ursula Brand: Don’t pester Cathleen with your complaints against someone you don’t even know, Jim.

Jim Brand: I’ve seen him at Cathleen’s office. He’s arrogant and bad.

Cathleen Brand: Jim is not pestering me. And Anthony Bensen is not arrogant and not bad. He’s a very generous person. By the way, I just come to think of it. Jim, we’re going to need you to do a job for us.

Ursula Brand: Jim? I’m afraid there’s not much that Jim can do for you.

Cathleen Brand: Don’t be too sure of that.

Jim Brand: What kind of job?

Cathleen Brand: I don’t know exactly, but is has to do with computers. You see! My slave driver is up to something. He wants a whiz kid, a hacker. I immediately thought that Jim fits like a glove.

Ursula Brand: How kind of you, Cathleen. Jim mentioned the other day that he wants to earn some pocket money. This may be the opportunity he’s looking for.

CUT TO

INT BENSEN’S OFFICE

Jim Brand, Anthony Bensen and Cathleen Brand.

Jim Brand: I’m not sure that I want to work for you.

Anthony Bensen: Why not?

Jim Brand: I don’t like you.

Cathleen Brand: (Upset.) Jim!

Anthony Bensen: You don’t like me. Well, that’s for sure a good reason. And you can’t be accused of being dishonest either. Why do you dislike me? You know me that well?

Jim Brand: You always keep Cathleen away from us.

Anthony Bensen: That would be reason good enough for disliking me? (Pause.) Yes, it certainly would.

Jim Brand: We want her for dinner every Sunday, but she’s always supposed to go with you to some ridiculous conference in Manhattan or to some uncalled for symposia in outlandish places in Idaho or Massachusetts.

Cathleen Brand: But Jim. That’s my work. I’m a very well paid private secretary.

Jim Brand: Anyhow, I don’t like it and I don’t like him either.

Anthony Bensen: Okay. I can see that we have a problem here. Cathleen, will you please leave us alone! I want to have a private talk with your nephew, a conversation between four eyes. His eyes and mine.

Cathleen Brand: I don’t know.

Anthony Bensen: Come on, Cathleen. As far as I can make it out, this is between two men.

Cathleen Brand: That’s male chauvinist pig balderdash.

Jim Brand: Don’t worry, Cathleen. I’m not afraid. I can handle people like him if they get violent. I can handle him like nothing.

Anthony Bensen: Listen to that. True grit, isn’t it.

Cathleen Brand: Don’t laugh, Anton. I think Jim knows what he’s talking about.

CUT TO

INT LONG SHOT

Cathleen Brand walks out of the office.

CUT TO

INT SHOT OF

Anthony Bensen and Jim Brand alone.

Anthony Bensen: Like nothing. I’ve never before been compared to nothing.

Jim Brand: Maybe nothing compares to you.

Anthony Bensen: What makes you think that you can handle me like nothing, as you put it.

Jim Brand: You should see the color of my belt.

Anthony Bensen: Oh. You’re a karate kid. The color of my belt is not bad either.

Jim Brand: (Interested.) You mean that you...?

Anthony Bensen: And you dislike me. Why?

Jim Brand: I told you. You exploit Cathleen at the expense of our family.

Anthony Bensen: Wait a minute! You heard what the lady said. It’s her work.

Jim Brand: Her workload is too big.

Anthony Bensen: Look! Do you know what I want you to do?

Jim Brand: You want me to do some hacker job.

Anthony Bensen: That’s right. How good are you?

Jim Brand: I’m not at all bad.

Anthony Bensen: Have you been inside the Pentagon?

Jim Brand: I’ve never been to Washington, D.C. But last year I dug into their computer system. If that’s what you mean. Just for fun. In order to see if I could do it. I could.

Anthony Bensen: If you’re telling the truth, it proves that you’re good.

Jim Brand: I never lie... if I can avoid it.

Anthony Bensen: The thing I want you to do is probably much easier. I want a list of people from a computer inside the office of the Robeson Insemination Clinic. It’s situated at the corner of Park Avenue South and 33rd Street.

Jim Brand: What kind of list?

Anthony Bensen: It’s a list of couples and their children.

Jim Brand: Well?

Anthony Bensen: Married women have become pregnant after being inseminated with deep-frozen seminal fluid. That’s on record in the computer of that clinic.

Jim Brand: And why are you interested in that list?

Anthony Bensen: Because long ago I...

Jim Brand (cuts short): You donated!?...

Anthony Bensen: Don’t sound that unbelieving. Yes, sir. I did.

Jim Brand (laughing): You don’t look like someone that would be accepted as a sperm donor.

Anthony Bensen: Believe me, Jim. What you see in front of you is not the same thing you’d have seen if you’d seen me long before you were born. I was a different person thirty-one years ago. Now, are we in business?

Jim Brand: Well. My first condition would be... From now on, Cathleen will always be free on weekends.

Anthony Bensen: That’s a tough one.

Jim Brand: Do you agree?

Anthony Bensen: Agreed. But then I have to renegotiate her terms of employment as well.

Jim Brand: That’s your problem, not mine.

Anthony Bensen: You’re really something.

Jim Brand: I certainly am. Furthermore, You’re a very rich man.

Anthony Bensen: Did Cathleen say that?

Jim Brand: Let me say that I got it confirmed on the Internet. There’s a lot about you on the Internet.

Anthony Bensen: Really? I didn’t know that.

Jim Brand: About you, your business, even gossip about women, parties and so on.

Anthony Bensen: Well, I never.

Jim Brand: Are you as rich as they say?

Anthony Bensen: I don’t know what they say, but it’s true that I have one or two dollars. No doubt about that! How much do you want?

Jim Brand: I want a credit card valid up to, say twenty thousand dollars.

Anthony Bensen: That’s a lot of money for a young man like you.

Jim Brand: I know.

Anthony Bensen: Sounds a little bit over the top to me.

Jim Brand: You only have to pay it if I can get the list for you. Is the list worth it? Or isn’t it? That is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea troubles And by opposing end them?

Anthony Bensen: Okay, Mr. Shakespeare. If you could come up with that list... yes, it would be worth it. Preferably to both mind suffering and arms taking. Yes.

Jim Brand: There’s one more thing. I want five hundred dollars cash. Right now! For expenses!

Anthony Bensen: Sounds reasonable to me.

Jim Brand: Good. That’s it. So now please, call in Cathleen and let her draw up the contract.

Anthony Bensen: Oh no. I’ve a lawyer for that.

Jim Brand: In this particular case, I would advise you to be cautious, Mr. Bensen.

Anthony Bensen: Oh my God. Who are you to advise me?

Jim Brand: I simply think that we should keep all this between these walls.

Anthony Bensen: Your aunt is right. You’re a tough and precocious guy. Why should it be kept between these walls, as you put it?

Jim Brand: To begin with, I don’t think that your lawyer would approve.

Anthony Bensen: I see what you mean. It’s somewhat unlawful. But wait a minute. We don’t have to write down in plain English exactly what you’re going to do.

Jim Brand: It’s very unlawful.

Anthony Bensen: Let’s say that, according to the contract you’ll take care of my computer problems. How about that?

Jim Brand: What if your lawyer asks questions?

Anthony Bensen: If you know lawyers in general and mine in particular, you wouldn’t put forward such a stupid assumption. A check and he’ll forget all questions, kill his mother and have her for dinner. The culinary part of that statement depends on the size of the sum on the check. Your aunt is much worse than he is. She not only asks questions. She lectures. And she can’t be bribed.

Jim Brand: You do, as you like.

Anthony Bensen: When will you begin?

Jim Brand: As soon as you’ve signed the contract and paid me the advance for my expenses.

Anthony Bensen: Jim, it’s a great pleasure to do business with you.

Jim Brand: I wish I could say the same about you. But you made me an offer I couldn’t resist.

Anthony Bensen: Whatever kind of movies you see, you certainly pick up some familiar cues.

CUT TO

INT JIM’S DEN A baseball bat, karate garments, CDs, bookshelves. A Casablanca bill with Bogart & Bergman, another with Judy Foster. A Mah-jong kit. The very altar of the room is the big computer screen.

Jim Brand at work on keyboard and with mouse.

CUT TO COLORFUL SCREEN DISPLAY

Welcome to the Home site of Robeson’s Insemination Clinic.
Park Avenue South and 33rd Street, New York City

CUT TO JIM BRAND’S FACE

Jim Brand: Now, let me see.

From now on Jim Brand is shown working hard. Different angles. Different screen displays. Until.

Jim Brand: No way. It’s not possible to find it. They probably have the list in a separate computer system that’s not connected with the system they use for their home site on Internet. It means that I must get access to the computer where they have the list.

CUT TO

INT CLOSE UP of a door plate

Dr. Clark Robeson
Artificial Insemination.

CUT TO

INT HALLWAY

Eve Nagy opens door. Jim Brand enters.

Eve Nagy: You must be the high school trainee.

Jim Brand: Yes.

Eve Nagy: You’ll have your practical occupational experience here. You want to become a doctor?

Jim Brand: The medical profession seems to be an interesting one. I want to know how you handle things, the way you record patients and cases and all that. You’ve a card index system?

Eve Nagy: Oh no. Everything is computerized.

Jim Brand: I’m glad to hear that. I like computers. Am I your first trainee?

Eve Nagy: Every year we have one or two students coming to get practical experience. One of them actually decided to become a doctor. The others... Well, this profession may seem inviting when you look at it from the outside, but when you’re inside, in this sterilized environment, you may feel repelled. Some people do. You’re in senior high school?

Jim Brand: Yes.

Eve Nagy: I never got the opportunity to get practical experience, when I was in high school. It’s a good idea.

Jim Brand: It sure is.

Eve Nagy: This way.

CUT TO

INT CLOSE UP of another door plate: Laboratory.

Proceed to part 4...