Bias and Vanity

by Bertil Falk

Chapter 11

conclusion

The next day was filled with surprises. Thebazile went out after breakfast for a run. When he returned to The Space and the Time, no fewer than three people waited for him. There was Mizz Yzrad and Mizz Yelgnib as well as Mizz Yzrad’s brother, Master Yzrad. They were exceedingly civil and made it clear to Thebazile and his two relatives that there was hardly anything on this world — or on any world for that matter — they wanted more than having them to dinner at Ylrebmep.

Thebazile wondered if perhaps, perchance, maybe peradventure, Mizz Yzrad still loved him and considered him to be a prospective husband. That seemed to be impossible after he had turned her proposal of marriage into a disastrous quarrel. No, if Mizz Yzrad were in her right mind, if she were in full possession of her senses, she would certainly not contemplate an alliance with a person who had turned her down the way he had turned her down.

But still. There was not only an obvious change in her behavior. There was an eagerness to please and satisfy bordering on desperation in her efforts to show her consideration. At the same time Mizz Yelgnib seemed to be in a somewhat embarrassed mood. She now and then inquired about different people, but it took sometime before she reached her ultimate goal, and asked:

“How’s your brother Enaj?”

“He’s well considering the circumstances,” Thebazile said, immediately regretting his wording.

“Circumstances?” Mizz Yelgnib cried.

“He has been a little bit affected by circumstances,” Thebazile tried to mitigate the damage. “He’s sensitive, as you know.”

“Do I? Well, I should, shouldn’t I?”

Master Yzrad interrupted this somewhat incoherent conversation. He said that he had heard so much about Thebazile and was glad to make his acquaintance at last.

During the dinner at Ylrebmep that evening, all the former tensions were dispelled. Instead, everything was pleasant and it dawned on Mrz. and Mr. Renidrag that the mistress of Ylrebmep had her eyes on Thebazile. The discovery was of course a big surprise to them at the same time that it opened up new avenues as to the future of Thebazile and his poor family. Thebazile felt strongly that Mizz Yzrad, far from being arrogant and proud, was incredibly friendly and considerate. He now totally regretted his own attitude towards her.

And here in her private environment, her beauty was enhanced. Could she still be in love with him after his vehement refusal of her proposal? Most certainly not! But on the other hand... her graceful treatment of his aunt and uncle and himself, did it not show that she still entertained love and cherished hope for a union? Theobazile’s thoughts were like table tennis, ping pong between extremes.

After the successful dinner at Ylrebmep, Mizz Yzrad accompanied Thebazile and his relatives to The Space and the Time. At the very moment they arrived there, Thebazile got a mental message of such an alarming kind that he forgot everything else. Mizz Yzrad saw that something had happened to him. So did Mrz. and Mr. Renidrag.

“What’s wrong?” Mrz. Renidrag exclaimed.

Thebazile’s face was distorted by something that looked like pain.

“Something terrible has happened,” he cried. “Aidyl has left General Retsrof at Nothgirb...”

“Left?”

“Actually, he has eloped...”

“... in order to marry?”

“...with Mizz Mahkciw and they’re not married. They’re — this is horrible and will not only destroy Aidyl but our whole family — they’re living together.”

“Without being married!” Mr. Renidrag screamed and for a moment it seemed as if he would faint.

Mizz Yzrad looked very serious.

“This is indeed a very grave situation,” she said. “I’m afraid I must leave you now.”

“It’s my fault! I must go home immediately,” Thebazile said and without thinking he adjusted to the nearest wall as if it was possible to get home straight away. Instead he turned up in a totally different environment, a steppe with grazing dragons. Realizing his mistake, Thebazile adjusted back to The Space and the Time. Then Mizz Yzrad was gone.

“There’s no time, nor space to lose,” Thebazile said.

They entered a black hole station of the universal subspace system at Notbmal and arrived instantaneously through a white hole station in Notirem, wherefrom they easily adjusted to Enruobgnol.

They found everything upside down at home. Mr. Tenneb was suffering from a nervous breakdown and two of three brothers were quarreling. Yram said that Aidyl had made a horrible mistake, while Yttik insisted that Aidyl had done the right thing. Enaj was silent as usual.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you, Thebazile,” said Mrz. Tenneb. “Well, what’s done is done. There’s nothing I can do.”

“I’ll try to find them,” said Mrz. Renidrag.

When Thebazile and Enaj were alone they contemplated the situation.

“Aidyl has burned his boats for good,” Thebazile said. “And he’s burned ours as well. You should’ve seen Mizz Yzrad when she heard the news...

“Mizz Yzrad?” Enaj cried. “Have you met her again?”

Then Thebazile told his brother the whole story about the accidental meeting with Mizz Yzrad at Ylrebmep.

“And when she heard the news about Aidyl’s behavior, she immediately turned her back on us and disappeared. Well, well...”

The next week was trying. Until they got a message from Mrz. Renidrag. The two fugitives had been found at a shabby spot in Nodnol and she could report that attempts to limit the damage had resulted in a swift marriage.

“Your aunt must have spent a lot of money, since she succeeded in getting them married,” Mrz. Tenneb said. “How will I be able to pay her back?”

“Nonsense!” Mr. Tenneb said. He had recovered quickly after the message of the marriage. “It was her duty to do that for us.”

Two days later the youngest of the Tenneb brothers arrived with his wife, who was dressed in a green uniform. She told Mrz. Tenneb that she had been relocated to Klofron in a nearby system.

“Glad to hear that,” Mrz. Tenneb commented.

Aidyl bragged of what he thought was his conquest, not realizing that Mizz Mahkciw had never intended to marry him.

“My marriage was very nice,” he told Thebazile. “You should go to Nothgirb. There you’ll get a wife.”

Thebazile shook his head.

“Mizz Yzrad is very nice. She...”

“Mizz Yzrad!” Thebazile exclaimed.

“Oh, I should not have mentioned her.”

“Why not?”

“Because, we are not supposed to reveal that she attended the wedding and paid for just about everything?”

Thebazile’s head was spinning. This unbelievable piece of astounding news created a flood of thoughts crossing each other in all directions. Why had she entered like a deus ex machina to fix the marriage? Why? Why? He knew her opinion of both Mahkciw and Aidyl. She detested the former and must despise the latter.

He had to know everything. There was only one thing to do. Thebazile adjusted the wall of his room to the wall of his aunt somewhere else. She was not at home. But Thebazile’s uncle was there and Mr. Renidrag was surprised.

“You mean you don’t know? We were convinced that you, that Mizz Yzrad intervened on behalf of... well, well. Mizz Yzrad considered it her fault that it not was known what kind of manizer Mizz Mahkciw is, was and always has been. And probably will remain. Therefore she wished to repair her sin of omission. It cost her an enormous amount of money to convince Mizz Mahkciw, but I guess she can afford it.”

Stunned, Thebazile returned home. Had she done it for his sake? No, her explanation for her interference was plausible. Not many people had known about Mizz Mahkciw’s peculiarities. As far as Thebazile knew only Mizz Yzrad, Mizz Mailliwztif, Enaj and himself had known, plus his aunt and uncle, all in all six people.

The newly-weds went to Klofron and calm settled on the Tenneb family until suddenly one day, they received some unexpected visitors.

Mizz Yelgnib and Mizz Yzrad paid a visit to their humble abode. Mr. Tenneb showed Mizz Yelgnib all respect but had all the problems in the world to conceal his disapproval of Mizz Yzrad.

Knowing what Mizz Yzrad had done for his family, Thebazile felt ridiculous. He tried to catch Mizz Yzrad’s eyes, but she did not look at him at all. On the other hand it was obvious that Mizz Yelgnib was even more enthusiastic about Enaj than before. And Thebazile now had every reason to assume that Mizz Yelgnib’s reawakened interest in Enaj was Mizz Yzrad’s doing as well. Nothing happened however. The two women left.

The next day Mizz Yelgnib came alone and before anyone really caught the drift, Enaj and Mizz Yelgnib were engaged. Thebazile wondered where Mizz Yzrad could be. He was told that she had returned to Ylrebmep and was not expected to return.

That was the situation when a few days later, all of a sudden, the most unexpected visitor of them all came through the wall.

“Mizter Thebazile Tenneb! I must talk to you!” the visitor demanded, adding: “In private!”

Mr. Tenneb looked at the visitor and realized that this was someone from the pinnacle of society; no less a man than Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system. In a way frightened at the sight of such an important person, Mr. Tenneb and his superfluous sons drew back from the parlor.

“You know why I’m here, don’t you?” Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system boomed.

“I can’t imagine what has caused you to call on this poor abode.”

“A most alarming report!” Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system cried. “Reverend Snilloc told me earlier today that you intend to marry my relative Yzrad.”

Thebazile laughed. “Did she? So what?”

“So what! Don’t be impertinent! This is serious indeed!”

“In what way?”

“In what way! You must understand that I can’t tolerate anything of the kind. The very thought of you polluting Ylrebmep gives me goose pimples.”

“How could this be any business of yours?”

“A marriage between you and Yzrad is impossible!”

“If so, what the heck are you doing here?”

“I’m here to hear you deny the rumor you’ve spread.”

“How could I possibly have spread a rumor, the existence of which I had no idea of until now. Where did that reverend of a gossipmonger get hold of this rumor?”

“Mizz Snilloc heard it from a Mr. Yelgnib, who said that it was practically decided. Has Yzrad proposed to you?”

Again Thebazile just laughed.

“What would you say if I told you that Yzrad and my son are engaged to be married?”

“I say that if that’s so, what kind of woman is Mizz Yzrad if she proposes to me while engaged to your son? A somewhat untrustworthy behavior.”

“Well, the engagement is of a peculiar kind. Her mother and I decided it when they were children. I rephrase my question: Are you engaged to Yzrad?”

Thebazile hesitated, but he could not lie. “I’m not.”

“Thank heaven,” Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system exclaimed, adding; “And you promise me never to get engaged to her?”

“Enough is enough,” Thebazile said. “You come here, indecently accusing me, insulting me, poking your aristocratic nose distorted by inbreeding into my life instead of minding your own business. Go away from here, you evil relative of Mizz Yzrad. What makes you think that I would like to be related to you? I can assure you that if I married her, it would be in spite of her relationship to you. You’re the last person on earth I want to be related to. Now leave this asteroid. Your presence has polluted Enruobgnol. I’ve caught goose pimples!”

Thebazile turned his back on Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system and walked away.

“You are obstinate!” Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system screamed following Thebazile, who pointed at a wall, saying: “That’s the way out!”

“I’ve never been treated like this,” Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system fumed.

“In other words: it was about time. And now: piss off!!!”

Emitting a series of interesting curses, Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system adjusted the wall and disappeared.

But he left Thebazile in a state of confusion. How could anyone suspect that there was something between him and Mizz Yzrad? Had Mizz Yzrad perhaps mentioned to Mizz Yelgnib about her unsuccessful proposal? But why would Mizz Yzrad tell Mizz Yelgnib, considering the fact that she actually had hindered her from marrying Enaj? On the other hand, that damage had been repaired, probably on the initiative of Mizz Yzrad.

The wedding between Mizz Yelgnib and Enaj was a climax in Mr. Tenneb’s life. Getting poor Enaj married to such an elevated lady was a triumph beyond his experience and enhanced the prospects of getting rid of the three remaining sons.

Mizz Yzrad attended the wedding, but she behaved as she always had done in public. But now that Thebazile knew her real character, he suffered from the knowledge that other people, including his parents, interpreted her behavior as arrogance and pride.

During the party after the wedding, Thebazile was so nervous that he took a jumping turn between some asteroids. When he returned, he had a shower and joined the party. The first person he stumbled upon was Mizz Yzrad. He bowed to her and when he saw that she was alone, he plucked up courage.

“Mizz Yzrad,” he said. “I must thank you for what you’ve done for my brother though it must have been painful for you to deal with Mizz Mahkciw. My family don’t know anything about it, but on behalf of us all, I want to thank you from my heart.”

“Oh, come on Mizter Tenneb. You must know that I did it for you.”

“For me, who in a biased and unpleasant way treated you when you... when you...”

“You’re not a trifling kind of person, Mizter Tenneb. If you still find my proposal disgusting, please tell me and my lips will never more suggest an engagement. If on the other hand...”

“What can I say? Prejudiced by my first impression of you and misled by the lies of Mizz Mahkciw, I misjudged you from the very beginning and I am not proud of my behavior. Now,” Thebazile said, “my feelings are more or less the opposite way around. However, your relative Count Hgruob ed Enirehtac of the Sgnisor solar system...”

“Yes, I know. He told me about your meeting, when he most importunately scolded you and you most steadfastly retaliated. That made me hope that a renewal of my proposal would lead to our engagement, my dearest, handsome Thebazile.”

Mrz. Tenneb was surprised when Mizz Yzrad asked for a meeting and when she heard the young lady’s errand she hardly believed her ears. When Mizz Yzrad told her that Thebazile had agreed, she did not oppose the proposed arrangement.

But the first thing she said to Thebazile, as he entered her study when Mizz Yzrad had left it, was alarming.

“Are you crazy, Thebazile? Do you mean that you’re so money-randy that you’re prepared to marry a woman you hate and despise?”

“Is that what you think?”

“She’s an arrogant and unpleasant woman. We all know that, but if you like her...”

“I don’t like her.”

“No?”

Mrz. Tenneb looked astonished.

“Do I understand you rightly? You don’t like her?”

“I don’t.”

Mrz. Tenneb now looked even more puzzled.

“Now what’s this supposed to be? You want to be rich?”

“I don’t like her. As a matter of fact that is a kind of understatement.”

Thebazile made a pause and sort of took a run for a jump.

And then: “I don’t like her! I love her!”

There was silence for a moment.

“You love her?”

“Yes, indeed. With all my heart.”

“Well, I seem to have misunderstood the situation.”

“Yes, you have. As we all did, including me. Let me tell you what she has done.”

Thebazile told his mother and when he left her she was unbelievingly staring, her mouth half open.

That was how Mr. Tenneb got three of his five sons married away in a row.

And when Thebazile made his daily asteroid jumps, it was as if the whole archipelago joined him in his happiness.