Dollar-Bill Phil

I’ll sing you a song and it won’t be too long,
It’s the saga of “Dollar-Bill Phil.”
He stole lotsa money and that wasn’t funny:
He got caught going over the hill.

His alias was gleaned from an earlier scene
He pulled in a town called Orleans.
As he left in a flash with his stolen cash
A dollar bill fell from his jeans

This thoughtless wise guy figured that a disguise
Would hide him and let him walk free.
The disguise that he chose was a dress. I suppose
He thought that nobody would see

That under his nose hair had started to grow
A mustache as plain as can be,
Or the hair filling in areas over his chin
Dull-witted in his reverie.

Well, years have now passed and Phil is aghast
Since he now resides in the pen.
He can look high and low, but there’s no place to go
Save his cell for twenty plus ten.