Revenge at the Cat Café

by Shauna Checkley

Stuck at a red light, Tina held her steering wheel in a white-knuckle death grip. She fumed as much as the exhaust pouring out of the back end of her black Jeep. So gonna show him! He’s so gonna get a taste of his own medicine!

In her mind’s eye, she pictured what had transpired, or what she imagined it to be like, Brad and the server flirting, then falling into each other’s arms and finally into bed.

And to think by immediately confessing, he thinks that it makes his infidelity into just a teensy slip, a cutesy miscue or something. “It’s never happened before, and it’ll never happen again,” so he’d insisted. Still, it weighed heavily on her nerves.

As her mind flew like a bird of prey to the darkest places imaginable, Tina hoped that Brad spilled red wine onto the woman’s white couch, or that he ended up having to sleep on the wet spot, or that they accidentally head-bopped each other, snored and drooled. And so forth. So very pissed! Well, I can do a little damage of my own, too. Since there is no revenge porn to resort to, I think a revenge fuck just may be in order hahaha.

The light turned green. Tina took it as a sign from the cosmos, not just from the traffic light. She sped to the nearest bar. Unfortunately, the closest one was Big Eddie’s, a notorious biker hangout. Pulling up to it, she parked on the street. Then she got out and walked over to the big picture window and peered in.

Tina watched as two guys arm-wrestled and another two appeared to be in a chugging contest. Everyone wore black leather and boots. Every third person had a snake tattoo. The place was sad and dingy and sported a menacing air. It was likely frequented only by those in the very deepest states of intoxication.

Tina felt a lump forming in the back of her throat. Then she felt it spread to the pit of her stomach. Think I’ll just pass! So don’t want to hook up here! Not even if it’s to teach Brad a much-needed lesson!

Turning quickly away, she then found herself standing in the middle of the empty sidewalk weighing her options. Could drive to The Drop Kick, your friendly neighborhood blue-collar bar, but it’s so far, across town even. Don’t want to fight traffic all the way there. Hmm...

Looking all about her, she hoped to see a lounge somewhere, anything. But then she saw it across the street. Our Purrfect Cat Café. Of course, that’s it! I forgot that it was here also. Tina hurried there. Who else frequents it besides crazy cat ladies lol? Guess I’ll soon find out.

Spilling inside, Tina marveled at the bustling cafe. She hadn’t been there in a while and was pleased to see that it was as popular as ever, this homey, happy establishment. Even though the décor was feline right down to the curtains and artwork, it only helped to lighten her rather heavy mood. I so need to soak up these good vibes. Yay!

She got a coffee and proceeded to the cat room. Once there, she was immediately approached by a black and white dandy, a tuxedo prince who was stationed greeter-like at the door. Meow!

“Hey, Tiger,” she cooed as she patted the cat’s head.

Settling on a nearby chocolate-brown love seat, Tina sipped her coffee. The cat meanwhile followed her there and snuggled onto her lap. Purred. And purred.

Looking all about her, Tina remembered her mission at hand: a revenge fuck. But with who? There were just an assortment of cat ladies fawning over the cats, families with young kids, some artsy types sipping chai tea and discussing afro-futurism as an aesthetic; yes, the usual suspects.

Hmm...But did she even want to engage in revenge fornication? Not really. It’s just that it was the first thing that had sprung to mind, more what she thought she was supposed to do rather than what she actually wanted to do. Sort of like when you kiss everyone randomly on New Year’s.

Yet there were things to consider. Brad’s infidelity was just the crowning irritant in a maelstrom of misdeeds, including ignoring bills, refusing to clean the litter box, drinking straight out of the milk carton. Still, his major indiscretion needed to be addressed at the very least. I just won’t sweat the small stuff, as the saying goes. Now, just how should I do it?

Purring loudly, the cat on her lap caught her attention. Tina stroked it gently. Then it stood up and head bopped her. An action cat enthusiasts insist is a feline kiss and which she is apt to agree about.

“You are so sweet,” she cooed to it

The cat continued to purr melodically, the golden eyes brightening under the studio lighting overhead. Feeling soothed by it, Tina no longer bristled with anger.

Then it came to her in a flash! Who needs a revenge fuck when you can have a revenge cat? Brad had always maintained that their two cats (Navy and Davey) were sufficient, and there was to be no more. But Brad had transgressed egregiously. And Brad was due for a comeuppance, namely an addition to their furry feline family. Hehehe...

And then there were three. As the kitty was eligible, Tina adopted her newfound friend on the spot. A cheer went up in the café! Everyone clapped and smiled. Even the culture vultures gave an approving nod.

On the drive home, she began to mull some possible names in her mind. What should I call him? Just what name would send a message to Brad, if that’s even possible? Maybe Casanova? Or maybe Tiger Woods?